A Curious Statistical Anomaly

I review books. I, therefore, read a lot of books. That means taking time to hold a book in my hands, turning pages, and reading. I prefer reading paper to reading on screen because, well, I don’t care to sit at my desk with my laptop for hours and hours — I do enough of that with writing, email, blogs, etc. And, no one has seen fit yet to let me have a Kindle or other handheld book reader to review … yet … I live for hope.

Anyway, some of the publishers have been asking about sending pdf files rather than the book for review. I certainly understand that need — it saves a trees. Since I live on five wooded acres and garden in my few spots of sunshine, I’m concerned with the environment. But most of the other reviewers on the pubs aren’t keen on reading full books on screen anymore than I am. But, it’s these little challenges that spur Google searches — and Tor is giving away pdfs of books — so a couple of items came together and I found TextAloud.

I downloaded the demo version and got it installed. Downloaded the first Tor book Mistborn: The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson. The installation of TextAloud went very smoothly. Then because, after all, why would I read directions, I found that it can’t read a pdf directly, you have to open it with the TextAloud program — minor inconvenience. Then the demo has a voice called Sam. Sam is like being read to by the computer in the film War Games or Stephen Hawkings. So then I downloaded a demo voice from Cepstral called Lawrence. Lawrence is British and reads with a bit more inflection than Sam but he nags you to buy him every few sentences.

However, while I haven’t really run the program through to many paces yet — I’m seriously considering shelling out for the full version of TextAloud. I mean if the book is a file and TextAloud can read it to me — I can knit or spin while listening to a book — multi-tasking is a good thing. Besides, I love being read to and if I can choose accents well that just adds to the pleasure. Check it out yourself, it seems a really decent program.

The other day, I decided I’d rewatch Matrix — hadn’t seen it in a while and it was on TV, but that was in the colder part of the house, so I dug out the DVD and put it in the PC to watch. Ended up also watching Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions.

The first thing I noticed is the movies haven’t become dated. I found that really surprising even though there’s a acoustic coupler used in the first movie — it’s not intrusive and it is easy to give a pass to where tech and movie have diverged. But the thing is, that they did a great job of creating the matrix-artificial environment so that it holds up today so many years after it was first made.

I think part of that is that the central core of the movies isn’t about the virtual reality of the matrix. It’s really about choice, control, and power. Doubting Thomas (Neo) Anderson is removed from the matrix older than when most people are removed and he has some difficulty in coming to see the reality of the outside vs the control of his life he thought he had inside the matrix. He also has to deal with others looking to him for answers when he doesn’t even know the questions.

A friend hated the films because she felt that once they learned that it was an artificial environment that everyone would just be able to do the things “The One” could do. But to me, it’s not that simple. Even today people can believe so strongly in something that no matter what proof you give them, they will continue to believe as they did. First impressions do count. For an example, we had a rabbit that was a dwarf.  When our second rabbit came into the house as a youngling, the dwarf attacked the young one. The young one wasn’t a dwarf and grew up to be about 5 times bigger, but was forever cowed by the tiny one because of that first impression. When you grow up “knowing” something to be true it’s very hard to unlearn that something — no matter what that something is.

What is reality when it can be changed? Were the citizens of Zion really out of the matrix since in movie 2 Neo stopped the machines with his mind. There’s a lot of ambiguity but also a lot of fodder for long discussions over the nature of reality, choices and their ramifications, the nature of power and its uses, and the man/machine interfaces becoming so prevalent in our society.

It’s nice to occasionally revisit a movie and find it’s still fresh and thought provoking.

I saw this report on my favorite tech news site (slashdot.org) and it’s sort of been in my mind swirling around with a lot of other miscellaneous thoughts. The article from the University of Michigan News Service said:

A new energy-capturing knee brace can generate enough electricity from walking to operate a portable GPS locator, a cell phone, a motorized prosthetic joint or an implanted neurotransmitter, research involving the University of Michigan shows.

So, I’m wondering could we eventually have a lighter weight knee brace that’s fitted into our jeans or athletic gear and it somehow stores the energy into fiber batteries so later it can be downloaded to some off-line (out of my clothes) storage battery-type thingy. I mean if walking was not only healthy for me but would reduce my electrical bill because I could generate power to charge/run small devices then … well, maybe a lot more American would be out there walking… well, maybe not — but it’s a thought.

I like to multi-task — though I’ve been told that it’s physically impossible (that got a chuckle out of me but the person(s) who said this was deadly serious and a past employer for obvious reasons) anyway so since I read on the exercise bike or knit/bike/watch TV, why not reduce my electric bill by doing something to feel good, get healthy and help to save the environment. Imagine the generator brace on both knees, both elbows and then taking a brisk walk or run (for me it would be a slow walk but it’s the thought that counts anyway).

And if you laugh at that, you’re probably tired-er than I am. It’s been really hectic the last couple of days and I really needed a break. I think I mentioned a while back that my favorite kicking around the house sweater is falling apart after years and years of faithful service. So, I bought yarn and decided that I wanted to learn to do a top down sweater. I got all my books out and decided to do a full yoke but I wanted it to be loose so I could wear it comfortably with turtlenecks and shirts.

So, I did a gauge swatch, measured it, then calculated how many stitches I’d need for to get the neck size I wanted (I measured that with a cloth measuring tape). I cast on the stitches and started with my knit 2, purl 2 border. Well lets just say as with my usual experience with gauge that it could have fit me and several of my close friends. So, back to the frog pond with it. Since it’s a fuzzy boucle-type yarn, I lost some of it in trying to rip it out.

Now that I got the obligatory lying scumbag of a gauge swatch out of the way, I eye-balled the stitches as I added them on giving care to remember that once I knit a few rows they’d loosen up a bit. Looks like I’m on my way. I’ve got 10 rows of K2P2 ribbing and then increased 20 stitiches, then I’ve been increasing 20 stitches every 6th row since. Now I’ve got to figure out the depth of the yoke.

I may decide I’m getting the hang of this flying by the seat of my pants knitting. Guess this will be my knitting challenge this year to just try out different things and not be afraid to fail. Knitting as a metaphor for life I guess. I’m writing down the directions as I go and hope to have them available when I finish this — then I’ll post as a pdf. If anyone’s done a full yoke top-down sweater and has some sage advice/helpful tips, believe me I’m all ears (or eyes in the case of reading off screen).

Sunday, February 10th, is the first night of the showing of Pride and Prejudice as part of PBS’s The Complete Jane Austen on Masterpiece Theater. This particular version of Pride and Prejudice is the A&E version and will be shown over three Sundays (Feb. 10, 17, and 24.). Luckily, this is one of my favorite versions and I own a copy that I watch at least once a month and sometimes more. I’ve also seen then version starring Keira Knightley, the BBC version, the 1940 version with Greer Garson, and the Bollywood version Bride and Prejudice (who could resist Pride and Prejudice with elephants — I couldn’t).

The only version I own is the A&E one so that may account for why I like it best but it could also be Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy. Somehow of all the Mr. Darcy’s I’ve see in the movies — it’s Colin Firth’s portrayal that plays in my head when I reread the book. He has that haughty, stern, aloof shyness with a hint of passion that appeals to me in a Mr. Darcy.

Tonight’s movie ended after Elizabeth Bennet refuses the proposal of Mr. Collins. So, if you miss tonight’s episode and can’t find it on a repeat, if you read the book up to this point, you’ll be all set for next Sunday’s showing.

Every version of P&P is the director’s and writer’s vision of Austen’s story. Luckily for us, each finds the romance to be a key feature and while the characteristics of the characters may change and in the case of Bride and Prejudice the setting and time period — they each have the core story intact.

So, whether you rent, buy or just watch your own copy of the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice, you’ll find because it has five and a bit hours to devote to the novel, it maintains a consistency with the novel that many of the other movies cannot because they are limited coming as close as possible to the standard 90 minute movie length.

Meanwhile, I started to reread the novel because I’ve realized that I often think of this version BEING Pride and Prejudice and as much as I enjoy this film, I’d rather the book represent the true version for me.

I was thrashing my brain trying to think of a post and someone asked me how I did my socks without a pattern. So, thought I’d try to explain. When I first started with socks I followed patterns and then I sort of got the hang of it. Eventually, after reading several book and blogs I found that there wasn’t any real trick to it.

Toe UP:

First I use a figure 8 cast on. Actually when I first did it I didn’t really know what it was called but it seemed to make sense to me after doing all those kitchener stitch toes when doing top down. Knitty.com has a great explanation with pictures of the figure 8 cast on. They call it the figure 8 toe. After trial and error I more or less do it this way now.

Once I have used the figure 8 to cast on 16-18 stitches (8-9 on each needle), I knit one row — this row is usually the most difficult. Then on the next row, knit one, M1, knit to next to last stitch, M1, K1 (for each needle) on the next row I usually split the stitch over 4 needles with an same number of stitch on each needle.

Next row knit all stitches.

Now on first needle, Knit 1, M1, knit to end of needle. 2nd needle you knit to next to last stitch and then M1, knit 1. 3rd needle: Knit 1, M1, knit to end. 4th needle: Knit to next to last stitch, M1, Knit 1. (You’ve increased 4 stitches in this row. All increased are on the outside of the toe.

Repeat until you have enough stitches to get to the widest part of your foot by the upper toes. This is where I usually start a pattern if I’m going to or ribbing if I want a ribbed sock. If you do a lace pattern keep the stitches that will be the bottom of the foot plain. If you’re doing ribbing you can do the whole foot as ribbing (sort of makes the sock fit snugger — if that’s a word).

When you’re within two inches of the heel you need to decide on a heel type. You can do a regular heel (follow any pattern and don’t worry that you’re going in the opposite direction), a short row heel, an afterthought heel, whatever you’re comfortable with. There’s an article on heels on Wool Works website, a great website with lots of photos on heels and other sock knitting tips, the directions for an afterthought heel on Sockknitters, and the Knitting Fiend has lots of good sock links.

Once you’ve done the heel, well you’re home free. Knit up as high on the leg as you want though if you’re going to go mid-calf you may have a problem with slipping down. I usually go either 8-9 inches or keep to a 2×2 or 1×1 ribbing so it holds up a bit better.

Well, that’s my fuzzy method of knitting a sock. On my next pair I’m planning an hour-glass (or short-row heel). I just loved the way it looked on the vintage socks that the Yarn Harlot just finished knitting. I don’t think I’d ever have the patients for those tiny leaves but I really like the looks of the heel.

Meanwhile, I’ve started a top down sweater and I don’t have a pattern so I’m sort of hyped to get it going. Only got 3 rows so far so it will be a while before a photo shows up here. Why doesn’t work, chores, errands, and loved ones just fade into the background when there’s a new project on the needles — it will only take me a day or three before the newness wears off and I won’t mind being interrupted so much.

I heard today that the Virginia Senate passed a law to remove mentally retarded from all public documents and signage — the phrase intellectually damage will be used in its place. I admit that I haven’t followed up on this to make sure it’s correct, but that’s not really important because the point is the PC (politically correctness) of such motions in general. First mentally retarded is an actual definable term (follow the link), however intellectually damaged is not so this is a change for the sake of change not a change for clarity.

[NOTE: Image is from an interesting article “A Politically Correct LexiconYour ‘how-to’ guide to avoid offending anyone” by Joel Bleifuss.]

It seems to me that a lot of the changes in language that are urged upon us in order to stop bias, negativity, and various fill-in-the-blank-isms don’t really make a difference. Over the last several decades many changes have been made but I can’t see that the world is any better for it. Hate is still alive and well and so is bigotry and discrimination. All that’s changed is our words, but the venom and emotion behind those words just moved — now the words may sound nicer but the attached emotional-negativity is still there. While changing language does do a lot in some cases for example changing fireman to fire fighter does make sense because a female fireman — well, it’s just weird. Having the job isn’t weird it’s the verbal label for the job that’s weird — the occupational title should be gender neutral. However, many of the latest changes are just a result of someone somewhere getting their knickers in a twist and thinking if they change the label the problem will go away.

Problems don’t go away when you ignore them, cover them up, hide them, or relabel them. They just go along for the ride and eventually get in your face again. You can’t change discrimination by changing labels — you must change the underlying emotional baggage that causes the problem in the first place.

As Juliet says in Shakepeare’s Romeo and Juliet:

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

However, a skunk cabbage labeled a rose is still going to smell to high heaven. It seems that too often we opt for the easy way out of our problems. We stick on a bandaid or give it a nice coat of paint. What we need to start doing is the hard stuff — we need to look at the underlying causes of the problems and deal with them. If you can manage to change things at the bottom the sting will come out of the hurtful words because there won’t be the emotional baggage attached.

So, do we want clarity and change, or just a bandage feel-good effort?

This is a very difficult post to write, in some ways it’s like coming into the open after hiding for years — the proverbial coming out of the closet. Though some people may say all I do is complain, I really try hard not to whine about myself. Remember I said that if I could do a post about living with chronic pain without whining or whingeing I would — this is that post.

A friend sent me a number of links, hoping I’d do a post about fibromyalgia. The first link she sent was an article in the New York Times “Drug Approved. Is Disease Real?” by Alex Berenson. (You’ll need to have an account to read the article but it’s free.) While the article is nominally about Pfizer’s drug Lyrica which has just been approved for use in managing fibromyalgia pain, it mainly insinuates that fibromyalgia is not a disease and that we’re a bunch of whiners who need to suck it up — at least that’s a major part of the subtext. The sugar coating is that maybe fibromyalgia is a problem, but it’s not a disease, and besides no one knows how to identify it or why it happens — not much sugar after the insult.

Fibromyalgia is a real problem that’s faced by many people. You have good days and bad flare days. There are times when you just don’t want to move because the effort and the pain are just too much to face. The problem is that there is no definitive test to take where the results will come back and say, “congratulations you’ve got fibro”. No, it’s a diagnosis that’s usually determined by exclusion. In other words, once they’ve tested you for everything else and haven’t found anything, well, fibro is what’s left and that’s what you got. That’s the reason that it’s so hard to define — since it’s a catchall diagnosis after everything else turned out to be nothing — fibro is probably a lot of different diseases and conditions that have gotten lumped together because they all have the same basic symptoms: pain, tiredness, achiness, and more pain.

The article says that calling it a disease gives people permission to be ill. I beg to differ. What it does is give a person some legitimacy — doctors/medical staff finally start listening to you rather than just marking your folder with whatever code they use for troublesome patients. Yes, we tend to be whiners and complainers to our health providers, who wouldn’t be — we want the pain to stop, if not completely at least for long enough to catch our breath and move on. I had years of being pooh-poohed before fibromyalgia was recognized. Have I changed? No, I’m still me — still coping. But at least now, I have some backing that my list of symptoms are not all in my head.

What I’d like you to do now is read this great essay on what it’s like to live with chronic pain. Written by Christine Miserandino, “The Spoon Theory” is the best way of explaining to those who don’t deal with chronic illness, just how totally chronic pain impacts a person’s life. Everyday, you have things you need to do, things you want to do, and things you hope to do. You balance the needs and wants — hoping that you can maintain a semi-normal life. (Go ahead, take your time then come back and finish this post.)

Back from reading the essay? When you go to the doctors and talk about pain, you’re always asked, “On a scale of 1-10 what would you say your pain is like now?” That question always threw me. I figured that if a 10 was the worst pain there is then I must be a 3 or maybe 4 if it really bothers me. Then I found the Mankoski Pain Scale. This pain scale (the usual 1 to 10) gives examples for each level so that you know how to answer. On this scale a normal, pretty good day, for me, is usually a 4 with occasionally forays to 5. With a migraine or on a bad flare day, it’s probably an 8. I have occasionally been up to a 9 and I don’t like being there — not that anyone would. I print out this pain scale and bring it to my doctor’s appointments so we’re both on the same page when we talk pain. The other problem is that here in the United States, where I live, pain is under-treated. It’s very difficult to convince a doctor to prescribe anything for pain, especially chronic pain, because if they prescribe too many painkillers they can be audited and their licenses suspended. So, most of us just learn to live with it and use the painkillers we do get very, very sparingly (like when you hit an 8 or 9 day).

I don’t look ill so most people don’t realize that I live with chronic pain — well unless it’s a walk-with-a-cane day. Sure, I talk about my allergies — lots of people have those. Sometimes I’ll mention I have migraines, especially if I’m finding it difficult to concentrate while conversing with someone. On the other hand, I finally had to quit my job because there was no opportunity to telecommute — I can work a full day just not 9-5 — I need breaks and sometimes lots of them. I’m lucky I found work I could do at home — freelance writing, copy editing, and proofing. It’s not as much pay as being a computer analyst but it’s a lot less stress and now leaves me with more spoons (if you don’t understand this reference, go back and read the essay) than I used to have so, I can sometimes enjoy going out and being with people — and being normal (for certain definitions of normal).