How you talk sets up expectations…
Someone pointed me to this youtube video. I loved what Taylor Mali was talking about and it got me thinking. First watch the video then read my thoughts.
Back in the dark ages, I was very active in women’s rights issues. I also taught courses in Assertiveness Training. One of the key issues that always had to be dealt with was how women talked. When you listen careful, there are still a lot of women that end every sentence with a slight uprising inflection that turns a statement into a question. It’s as if they’re asking permission to have that opinion. Women who expected to have a chance at breaking through the glass ceiling had to train themselves to actually make declarative sentences without the rising inflection that seemed so natural to them.
Things have changed a lot since then; there’s still often a glass ceiling, but it’s usually also invisible. PC or political correctness has made as all afraid to speak our minds. There is, however, a very big difference between talking down to someone, insulting someone, and expressing an opinion. Lately, expressing an opinion different from the person you are speaking with has somehow become wrong. I truly don’t understand that view of things and it often gets me into trouble but then I, unlike some others I could name, am a maverick.
It is our duty to express our opinions. It’s our right to let people know when we disagree with them, provided — and this is a big exception — we do it with respect and courtesy. That’s not difficult to do, but you do need to be sensitive to the other person and remember they don’t have to believe or think the same way you do. Guess what? People can disagree with each other and still be friends, colleagues, or co-workers. Most of the problems today stem from the fact that we’re so busy trying to be just like everyone else, trying hard to not stand out, and that means that none of us are happy.
Personally, I think a lot of this has to do with how we talk to each other. Speak clearly, concisely, with respect, courtesy, and with authority.
So what do you think about how you talk? Do you question authority? Do you speak with conviction?