Happiness is infectious…
A recent study, announced in BBC News, says that scientists have evidence that happiness is infectious. I don’t think that’s particularly new news, especially if you’re the type of person who studies the people around them.
I’m a writer, so I love to people watch. I noticed many times that people may be grumpy, but if someone is particularly nice to them, they often turn away with a smile. The obverse is also true a seemingly happy person who is given a hard time by a sales person quickly becomes a grumpy person. This being the season to be jolly — you can watch this glum-happy-glum transitions in most fast food places, stores, any place where people deal with people.
This study showed that if people around someone were happy that someone tended to be happy themselves. So, after some thought, I remembers that old adage by George Burns (I think, if you know the attributions let me know):
“Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
Sincerity is what makes whatever you do seem real. But happiness is sort of a state of mind. If you can convince yourself to act as if you are happy, then the people close to you are likely to feel better about themselves and be happier also. Then, the happiness you’re faking slowly becomes real because the people around your are happier in a spreading spiral of happiness.
Before we get in a “it’s a small world after all” frame of mind, we all fake happiness at times. The big smile when faced with having to entertain or be with people when you’d like nothing better than to be alone with a cup of tea and a good book. But haven’t you noticed that after the first few minutes of pretending to be pleased about something, and going with the fact that you have to be there, that it sort of becomes fun. And not much longer after that, you are actually having a good time being with friends and talking.
Last year around Christmas time, the buzz was to “pay it forward”. Well it seems that here is a way to pay things forward that don’t cost us a cent. Get up and tell yourself that today you’ll have a great day and be happy. Smile at people, acknowledge that they exist in your world. I’ve found that even the street people appreciate a smile and a hello — even if it’s accompanied by a “sorry, but I’ve donated my quota for today”. (That’s sort of a story for another time — short version, I have a set amount I’ll give out when in the city and after that it’s just a sorry.)
Tell yourself that you’ll make an effort to not let your mood affect other people; that you’ll smile and be relaxed and at ease with friends, family, relatives, and salespersons no matter how much you hate lines, waiting, or how rude they’re being to you. It’s time to try that turn the other cheek thing — just be pleasant. I’m not saying you need to be a comedian or entertain everyone you bump into — just maintain the common courtesies of life — or what used to be the common courtesies before most people forgot the words please, thank you, and have a wonderful day.
I think an effort to pretend to be happier than we are, especially now during the stress of the holidays and the economic downturn, could actually make those around us feel better and help ourselves. And, other studies have shown that happy people handle stress better and make better decisions. So, be selfish and help yourself by being pleasant to those around you.