Why do I feel like I’m loafing when I read?
Got to thinking again… In some correspondence with one of our reviewers, she wrote, “I guess I’ll work on reading that book–as if that’s really working.” Just the other day another person said, “I have a hard time sitting and reading a book for review because I feel like I’m not working.” Over the last few days, as we gear up to go live with the next issues of SFRevu and Gumshoe Review, I look at the steadily decreasing pile of books I’ve yet to read for the issue and every time I think, “why not just take a break and read for an hour” I think of the other stuff I have to do and I put it off.
Reading books for review is just one of the things I do in getting the zines together and online. It’s part of the process. If I, along with others, don’t read the books and write reviews there will be no content — so the reading is fundamental (and like the poster I found on Amazon shows it’s also fun). Reading has always been fun for me. It’s what I do to relax. The perfect vacation for me would be to be able to hike to a nice place with a view, a snack, no mosquitoes or other attack bugs, and a good book. As I get older, this dream sort of includes proper seating or lounging to avoid back problems. But, the basic fact is I’ve always considered reading fun.
Now, I’ll also admit I come from a family of readers. Even my grandmother read, though she had to quit school about grade three to care for her younger brothers and sisters (Nana died a couple of years ago at age 100ish). I was also very lucky to have excellent English teachers who didn’t do the “what color coat did CharacterX wear in Chapter 3”. No, instead they talked of plot, theme, and character development. In high school, many of us talked about the books we read in class during lunch or after school — that’s how great the teachers made reading. In college, I learned that others hadn’t been so lucky and reading was a chore for them. I’ve never forgotten a woman with a college degree that I worked with, who when I asked at lunch one day if anyone had read a good book lately said, “I don’t read anymore. I got my degree, I don’t have to do that again.”
I can’t imagine a life without books. Books are escapes. Books can take you on visits to other places, other times, and other worlds. They are gateways to new thoughts, ideas, and philosophies. Whenever I have a task I’m not sure how to do, I turn to books. The public library has to be the best institution of civilized society.
But because I enjoy reading so much, when I read books as work it feels like cheating. You know reading a novel behind an open textbook, reading under the covers, reading at work when your supposed to be doing something else. Now my job is to read. How do you convince yourself that it’s okay to curl up with a book during work time? It is work, but it’s so entertaining — it just feels weird somehow.