Roadside shrines….some thoughts
We were out running errands today and passed one of the many roadside shrines that people put up to commemorate a loved one lost in an accident — usually involving a car. This one has been gathering stuffed animals nailed to the tree, lots of plastic flowers and ribbons, candles in holders, a large cross and several smaller ones. I imagine that leaving mementos must somehow make the family and friends feel better but like many I wonder about these growing tributes to death, the danger to those who stop to add to the clutter, and the eyesore they are to others driving by on these roads.
Searching the internet, I found that this custom is a cultural one in the southwest. I found a site called Descansos that talks about that and has some photos. The photos on this site show small memorials that do not overpower the area. If all these roadside shrines were as simple in line and function, I guess it probably wouldn’t become such an issue. A quick Google search showed that many states have passed legislation to clear up these roadside shrines as dangerous and in some cases unsightly. The New York Times had an article, “As Roadside Memorials Multiply, a Second Look“, in its February 6, 2006 edition.
In many ways, I can understand the family member wanting to commemorate the death of loved one. My brother was killed many years ago in a tragic car accident, leaving a wife and two children, mother, sister, aunts, uncles, friends, and acquaintances — bereft and tearful. But, not once did any of us think to put a shrine on the site of the accident. For me, that would be celebrating his death not the life he lived. To me the best way to remember the lost family member would be to remember their lives and share memories with those who knew him or who might have liked him if he’d lived to met them.
It just struck me today, that I have no idea why people do this. Maybe it’s a lack in my understanding because to me it’s got the thing backwards keeping the death clutched to their heart rather than celebrating the life they had and the memories they shared. But that’s just me — rolling ideas around in my heart and head.