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Spam again… really…

Spam canI’ve just about had it with spam. I mean I get a lot of spam every day and most of it gets caught by my filters and it’s not that much of a problem except for the amount; but, I have to visually scan to make sure real mail has not been misfiled in the Junk folder. The subject lines are really getting to me. Subject lines like:

No woman can resist a man with a big **** — news flash, unless you intend to flash this equipment by dropping your drawers at every opportunity, including public events, how would any woman know? Second news flash – no woman privy to such a display would give a guy a second look no matter how big the ****.

Be the envy of your friends — Do guys make a habit of dropping their pants and checking measurements when they go out with the other guys? Weird and rather disturbing, if you ask me. Women seldom, if ever (I don’t know every woman in the world so I’ll go with seldom) exchange bra sizes. Why would we? Who’d care unless it was for a shopping trip. According to the volume of spam with similar subject lines it seems men do this comparison all the time. Weird.

Forget the foreplay when you have a big **** — No wonder so many men have problems with relationships. Even if you had the Washington Monument in your trousers, no woman wants to skip the best part of love making — the cuddling.

Put an anaconda in your trousers — Yuck, now there’s an image no woman wants to deal with.

The only people these ads can possibly be aimed at is teens who don’t know any better or don’t know who to talk to, or men/teens who are so insecure they’ll believe anything. If a person had at least two neurons in their craniums, they’d know better. And yet they’re still being sent out, which means somebody has to be clicking on them or replying to them.

I know that E.D. is a very real problem but none of these ads are ever going to solve the problem. Are men so embarrassed that they’d rather take medical advice from spam than a doctor? If you’re reading this and are even remotely tempted, let me advise you– don’t answer these spam email ads. NEVER EVER take advice on … well this isn’t dating advice is it… or anything from spam. Get a good book out of the library and listen to your girlfriend, wife, or significant other — if a medical problem talk to your doctor.

Whatever you do don’t answer no matter what they promise — it’s all vapor, smoke, and mirrors. As long as even one in a million people respond, they’ll keep sending it out and as a woman, well, I don’t need a bigger **** in my trousers. Since I keep getting these ads I can only imagine what a wonderful screening job they do before sending out their crap.

Note: Write to your congress critters and tell them you want a real anti-Spam act passed. No, you don’t want this crap in your mailboxes. And no, the spammers don’t have the right to deluge us with this patently offensive drivel!

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