A Curious Statistical Anomaly

I’ve just about had it with spam. I mean I get a lot of spam every day and most of it gets caught by my filters and it’s not that much of a problem except for the amount; but, I have to visually scan to make sure real mail has not been misfiled in the Junk folder. The subject lines are really getting to me. Subject lines like:

No woman can resist a man with a big **** — news flash, unless you intend to flash this equipment by dropping your drawers at every opportunity, including public events, how would any woman know? Second news flash – no woman privy to such a display would give a guy a second look no matter how big the ****.

Be the envy of your friends — Do guys make a habit of dropping their pants and checking measurements when they go out with the other guys? Weird and rather disturbing, if you ask me. Women seldom, if ever (I don’t know every woman in the world so I’ll go with seldom) exchange bra sizes. Why would we? Who’d care unless it was for a shopping trip. According to the volume of spam with similar subject lines it seems men do this comparison all the time. Weird.

Forget the foreplay when you have a big **** — No wonder so many men have problems with relationships. Even if you had the Washington Monument in your trousers, no woman wants to skip the best part of love making — the cuddling.

Put an anaconda in your trousers — Yuck, now there’s an image no woman wants to deal with.

The only people these ads can possibly be aimed at is teens who don’t know any better or don’t know who to talk to, or men/teens who are so insecure they’ll believe anything. If a person had at least two neurons in their craniums, they’d know better. And yet they’re still being sent out, which means somebody has to be clicking on them or replying to them.

I know that E.D. is a very real problem but none of these ads are ever going to solve the problem. Are men so embarrassed that they’d rather take medical advice from spam than a doctor? If you’re reading this and are even remotely tempted, let me advise you– don’t answer these spam email ads. NEVER EVER take advice on … well this isn’t dating advice is it… or anything from spam. Get a good book out of the library and listen to your girlfriend, wife, or significant other — if a medical problem talk to your doctor.

Whatever you do don’t answer no matter what they promise — it’s all vapor, smoke, and mirrors. As long as even one in a million people respond, they’ll keep sending it out and as a woman, well, I don’t need a bigger **** in my trousers. Since I keep getting these ads I can only imagine what a wonderful screening job they do before sending out their crap.

Note: Write to your congress critters and tell them you want a real anti-Spam act passed. No, you don’t want this crap in your mailboxes. And no, the spammers don’t have the right to deluge us with this patently offensive drivel!

Well even though I haven’t mentioned it I’ve been barreling along on my Christmas knitting. I finished the sweater for my son. My husband agreed to model it then did all the fashion poses so I’ve clipped one to use here. It’s a bit big on Paul but you can still see the texture on the yoke, cuffs, bottom, and up the sides under the arms. I did use the 3 needle bind off for the underarms and then sewed up the gaps. I figured that would give additional strength to the weight of the sweater and the stress of arm movement.

I must say this pullover knit up very quickly. There’s just enough pattern to keep it interesting during the long stocking knit sections. The pattern is well-written and easy to follow. I tried it on me and it looked good too (except the arms are too long). I’m hoping the arm length is okay for my son — I didn’t have his measurements so was going on the average and figure he can push up the sleeves or roll them if they’re too long because they seem to be just about right. I’ll find out on Christmas day for sure.

After finishing the sweater I had left over yarn — that wasn’t so much a surprise since I’d bought extra just in case. Backing up a bit in time, I’d made my husband a pair of fingerless gloves this summer to wear when he was in the data center at work. It’s basically a big open room where all the computer servers are kept. It’s also kept cool for the equipment (by cool I mean about 55-60 degrees). He spent hours in there wiring up his computers and getting them up and running (this years it’s in the 60s in there) but his hands were freezing. But in order to do the wiring and assembling, he needed his fingers free. So, I made him a pair of fingerless gloves — developing my own pattern. They came out pretty good if I do say so myself.

This is the husband cutting in. Not only where the gloves “good”, they were great. I was the envy of the data center, and people kept asking if they could borrow them whenever I wasn’t going to be in there myself.

Knitty had a great pattern called Dashing that I thought would look great and keep his hands warm. So, I made a pair. Then I thought why not try them in a fluffier yarn for me (then I can put these on, then put on my coat and then put on mittens so the wrist stay warm when I’m outside working in the cold). And since I’m on a roll, I plan to make a pair for my son since he also has to occasionally do outside work that requires his fingers to be free. Once Christmas knitting is over, I may try to add fingers up to the middle of the middle joint but for now I’m enjoying these — they also knit up fast and look really good with the cables. The pattern is well done but I found I had to move stitches around on the 3 needles in order to make the cabling more efficiently — but that’s more than likely just me.

Meanwhile, I’m struggling to find a decent book holder because if I don’t read while I’m knitting, I’m going to fall behind on my reading. When the knitting is fairly consistently the same, it’s easy to read while doing it, but then you have to have a way to hold the pages open. I’m fine with hardcovers – I have a great holder for when I sit at the table and when in my knitting chair I can use my feet. The problem is paperbacks. The hardcover book holder can’t take the force of the paperbacks and keeps folding up and the book pops out. So, I need a holder for paperbacks — found one that looked very good online but everywhere that sold it was out of stock — guess I have to wait…

Last night my husband happened upon some YouTube videos of Eddie Izzard. It had been a while since I’d seen his stand-up acts and so we ended up watching several of the videos. Today, I happened upon the Mac/PC Christmas commercial. That got me to thinking about humor. The most important thing about both of these examples is that neither Izzard nor Mac do hurtful humor. Of course, Apple wants to sell its product but it does it in a humorous way without actually putting down PC — only pointing out the differences between the two brands. Izzard also doesn’t do hurtful, insulting humor — his routines are usually about the absurdities of life, history, literature, and society. They can be biting but there not sarcastic or insulting just absolutely hilarious.

There are many other examples I’m sure of humor that tickles the funny bone but doesn’t insult to do it. So, why is it so difficult to find good humorists who don’t insult people to get laughs. I know they’re out there but they don’t seem to get the screen or air time of the hurtful/insulting ones. When did it become normal for people to laugh at others rather than at themselves and the absurdities of life.

I also wonder if that change in outlook is what driving so much of the hatefulness that has crept into so many areas of life. Recently, CNN had a question that asked if negative ads were helpful to the candidate or a pox on both parties. The results last time I looked was 93% for a pox on both parties. Yet, by the time we reach the middle of next year, if not sooner, most if not all political ads will be negative. They won’t give us any information about the candidate that the ad is for but only comments skirting slander of all the opposing candidates. Personally, I get my information about candidates from other sources than ads or newspapers because they concentrate on this negativity to the exclusion of actual information about the stance of the candidate. [NOTE: I’m not naming parties because it seems all parties are guilty of negative campaigning.]

I can’t help thinking that my grandmother was right, “If you can’t say anything good don’t say anything at all”. So, I’ll continue to enjoy humorists who make me laugh at myself and my species. I’ll also tend to vote for a candidate that tells me exactly what the problems are and what they intend to do about it rather than wasting time telling me about the graphic/petty details of the opposition’s peccadilloes — as if I care about the church attendance, what they did years ago in college, or who they’re related to. What I care about is how they’ve voted in the past, what they intend to do in the future, and can I trust them to keep their word and run the country in accordance with the wishes of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the laws of the land, and the will of the people (all that irregardless of their party affiliation which should come after the above list).

Guess, I am a Pollyanna afterall — always looking for the good/better/best in others.

Looking at a few news sites today, I learned that Korean scientists have cloned cats that are florescent in UV light. The first article said:

The Ministry of Science and Technology said a team led by Kong Il-keun, an animal cloning expert at Gyeongsang National University, manipulated the RFP in the skin tissue of Turkish Angora cats.

The second article (the one with the photo) said:

The red cloned cat research is expected to be utilized in dealing with certain genetic diseases in animals and humans. It will also help reproduce rare animals, such as tigers and wildcats, which are on the verge of extinction, the team said.

While it may seem that this is simply science for science’s sake and this cat could stand in for Rudolf on a cold winter night if Santa had a big UV light, it does appear that it has some legitimate research uses in dealing with genetic diseases. It’s also a theoretical test of their ability to change a genetic trait with a virus. This is all well and good but what about these cats?

I’m all for gaining knowledge and for solving some of the health problems that people have and maybe this is a first step in doing this; however, I can’t help but think that while the proof of concept with getting the skin cells to fluoresce didn’t do any harm (or at least I hope not, one of the kittens was born dead according to the article). But then you change the cat to be born with a disease and then come up with a treatment…doesn’t do much for the cat does it?

Sure, if push came to shove I’d side with humanity against animals but there has to be another way to test this stuff out without putting animals in danger. There seems to be an US vs THEM attitude — we’re the top of the heap, the epitome of evolution, so we can do anything we want because they’re just animals. Just because we can doesn’t mean we should. If indeed we wish to be as great as we think we are then humans need to also realize that they are stewards of this planet and its inhabitants down to the smallest insects/whatever. So, far with global warming, acid rain, genetically engineered crops escaping from test fields — well, our grades are failing and it’s the generations unborn who will be paying for our hubris and failures.

Just because we can doesn’t mean we should. The ends do not always justify the means no matter how good those ends may be. I can say that now because it’s all theoretical, but if a family member was dying and the price of saving that loved one’s life was to do more of this type of research — I don’t know what choice I’d make in that case. And that’s the point, the ethics of these situations have to be spelled out before we’ve traveled so far down the road that we can’t, or won’t, turn back.

Do we need more research into genetic diseases and ways to cure them? Yes, we do. But what are we willing to do to get those cures? That’s the question. Is there another way other than animal testing? Has anyone even looked into it or, since animal testing is so easy compared to all the research necessary to find alternatives, will anyone even look into it — after all, they’re only animals.

It’s me again. A couple of days ago Gayle mentioned here that we were looking for a tree topper. There appears to be two types commonly available: The Angel, and the Star. So far, none of them of really appeal to us. For me, the angel is really a non-starter. I’ve just never like the looks of them, and my opinion of them was warped at a young age with the story of “Why does an Angel sit at the top of a tree?” If you do a search, I’m sure your search engine of choice will serve you up a dozen variations on the theme. But this is how I remember it:

Santa is running late on Christmas Eve. All kinds of last minute things have cropped up and the normally jolly old elf is getting a bit stressed. Half his elven workforce is down with the flu, and the rest are getting clumsy with fatigue. Quality control is really beginning to slip. And don’t get him started on the temp elves the agency sent over. All in all, it’s anybody’s guess whether or not they’ll get the toys done in time. Then when he goes to check out the sleigh, he finds that someone left a garage window cracked open last summer and the sleigh is covered in snow and ice. So bad is it that he now has a team of elven mechanics working on it, trying to get the rust off. It’s unknown if the primer is going to be dry in time. Next stop is the reindeer pens, where he finds three of his team have jumped the fence and are nowhere to be found. A team of security elves is dispatched to look for them. Finally, with the clock relentless counting down to launch time, the first bag of toys is hauled from the toy shop to be loaded on the sleigh. One of the elves slips on the ice, the bag is dropped, rips open, and toys are scattered across the ice. A clean-up team is called to get everything repacked. The security team reports that they’ve located the missing reindeer, but it’s going to take another half-hour to get them back and in the harnesses. And, there are whispers being passed around that two of the reindeer might be pregnant and will need to be replaced for this year’s run. A physician elf is called to check them over. With time to leave only minutes away, Santa stamps back into the house, the red in his cheeks no longer caused by the crisp clean air. No sooner has he closed the door when Mrs. Claus cheerfully informs him that her parents will be visiting for Christmas day (and the next two weeks.) While he’s still spluttering to this news, the doorbell rings. Nearly incoherent, Santa turns around and rips open the door. On the step is a little angel, sweet as can be and precious as the morning dew. Behind her is the new Christmas tree he had order two months previously. “Merry Christmas, Santa!” she says, with a twinkle in her eye. “I have your tree here, where would you like me to stick it?”

And that’s why there’s an angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Now I can’t see an angel tree topper without laughing. It’s not considered conducive to the Christmas spirit, so I try to keep it to myself, but for my own personal (well, shared with Gayle) tree, I’d like something more heart-warming then side splitting. What can I say? I’m easily amused. Anyway, the search goes on.

I caught an article on Science Daily about how people enjoy a movie more when they see it with other people. Now this sounds pretty “doh!” to me, but then science often proves the known in order to move on and be sure they understand the underlying reasons for things. However, in reading the article, I couldn’t help but think that maybe this behavior might be a bit more prevalent that just with movies. For example the authors said:

the researchers videotaped participants and found that synchrony of evaluations can be traced to glances at the other person during the film and adoption of the observed expressions.

That sounds like the sort of behavior that you observe in crowds of any type — whether that behavior is positive or negative. For example, people in a protest march will act out not with their usual behavior but following the visual and auditory behaviors of the rest of the marchers. Often, not believing that they did what they did afterward. It’s only a step beyond their normal behavior and; no, they wouldn’t have done it IF they’d been on their own. In a crowd, we feel anonymous and able to do things that we wouldn’t ordinarily do and it’s that gaining cues from others who are not following their own inner rules of behavior that leads to the violence often seen in crowd situations.

On the other hand, I’m going to put a positive spin on this, maybe this same behavior can model “good” behavior also. During the Christmas season, nothing really changes but people feel that they aught to behave “better” because of the season. It takes very little for the first person to wish another, “Happy Holidays”. Then they wish someone else well, and the behavior spreads. Watch the Salvation Army cauldrons, often no one gives a donation, then one person does and many others who observed the dropping of the coins also give. So, this crowd watching for signals to behavior can also be a positive thing — not just causing riots but random acts of kindness.

So, when you’re out in public think about the behavior that you want others about you to model when you act. Maybe your random act of kindness can be to smile at people when they wait on you. Take the time to sincerely wish them a “Happy Holiday” rather than just parroting the words. What you do may be what causes another to pass it on. If we all pass on kindness and good behavior it may not stop wars or end our environmental crisis or even pay your bills. But if we all just try to act a bit nicer to each other in little ways that don’t hurt us or take away from our ordinary rush and business — perhaps, just perhaps, it will make the world a bit of a nicer place to be and all that karma just might add up to make this a better place to live, not just during the holiday season, but every day.

Pollyanna-ish, probably — but, it is based in science, so give it a try.

So, what do you do when faced with writer’s block. Well, I don’t know about you but I clean or attempt to clean the house. It seems that if you can’t do what you should do, you ought to at least try to do something positive. Cleaning is not only a positive activity, it leaves your mind free to think of other things. So, while mulling over plot and characters and essay topics — I decided to clear up my stash.

My stash includes fiber ready for spinning, as well as yarn for various projects. Earlier in the week I avoided writing for a while, listening to a podcast of Stephanie Pearl McPhee (Yarn Harlot) from a link on her blog. I then thought, what the hey, I’ve never heard her speak so a youtube search and several talks later, my day was going on with a happier underlying note. But I remembered that in one of the talks she mentioned the beauty of Ziploc bags for yarn and fiber storage.

Since I’ve quite a bit of fiber and yarn (not a lot for a yarn store but a bit more than one person probably needs for a couple of months of knitting…okay for a year of knitting) and I’ve noticed some suspiciously moth-y type things. And while they all bit the dust fairly quickly, I’ve been meaning to go through and check everything out. So, today with Ziploc bags in hand, I started the fiber/yarn organization and checking.

Most of the fiber and yarn is in plastic bags with one of the following: cedar blocks, cedar circles, cedar sachets, or cedar balls. So, far I’ve got the yarn for two sweaters now sealed in bags by projects. I found most of the fiber was wrapped well enough so that it seemed fine but I repackaged in ziplocs with cedar whatevers and squeezed out the air. I’ve moved the fiber into boxes by type: wool in one box, bamboo fiber in another along with ingeo (corn-based fiber). The yarn is being organized so that all of the same yarn type/color is in a baggie. If there are yarns for projects, I’m labeling the bag as to what the yarn was bought for — usually socks or shawls.

The side effect of all this cleaning is that now there’s room in the living room for the tree. I found two containers of angora that had to be tossed. I guess angora is the favorite of moths and that seems to be all they ate so far and now that’s gone out of the house. I also think I might have figured out how my protagonist is supposed to get involved in the plot so, I guess tomorrow it’s back to the goal of 1,000 words a day.

Well, today we had a batch of errands to run. We needed to mail out the books we sold on Amazon, the payments for the bills, and the two boxes to our mothers (1 box each — parity in gift giving reigns in our house). We did the food shopping. Stopped to check out books in Borders and buy coffee (as an aside why do they even have a Maple White Mocha listed when they never have the ingredients to make it…so far I’m 0 for 5). I got a Peppermint Mocha Trio — hubby got the hot chocolate. (Hard to believe I married a guy who can’t stand the taste of coffee…still shaking my head over that one).

I still love book stores. The problem with reviewing is that you often don’t see the book covers until the books come out. So, it’s sort of fun to look at the new releases to see the covers for books you’ve been processing and either reviewing yourself or sending out to the reviewers. Lots of times the advanced reader’s copies do have covers but sometimes it’s not the final cover and most are plain. I love it when the cover comes as a postcard. I pin the artwork that I like up on my bulletin board.

Anyway, after the bookish interlude it was on to find a tree topper. We don’t have one. For the last few years (10), we’ve used an open sort of ornament on the top that then has a spray of stars spilling off it. Each year, we make a search of the stores for a tree topper. This year it was Walmart, Target, Home Depot, Lowes, Home Goods, A.C. Moore, Pier 1, Linen & Things (you never know), Bed, Bath and Beyond (same wishful thinking), and Michaels. Once again — no tree topper. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for so that’s probably why I can’t find it. I know I don’t want an angel or one of those big stars with all the lights. There’s nothing really wrong with them but I just don’t get that joyous feeling when I contemplate it (them) on the top of our tree. I think there may be a star thing out there that I do want but I just haven’t found it. I did see a lot of ball-towers this year for tree toppers (I don’t know what else to call them a tower of gradually decreasing in size ball — some all one color and others multicolored.) So, we go with our stop-gap tree topper for another year.

On the good new side, I’ve got my son’s Christmas sweater mostly done. Got a few more rows to finish off the top and then I need to sew up the underarms. The directions call for the Kitchener stitch to join the underarm together. But I’m starting to wonder if that will make a strong enough seam for what is surely to be a heavily used men’s sweater. I’m thinking 3-needle bind off — any advice on this? The sweater pattern is the Cobblestone Pullover designed by Jared Flood (Interweave Knits, Fall 2007). It’s been a delight to knit. There’s just enough texture to keep it interesting during the waist to underarm section. The short rows for shaping of the yoke and the hidden decreases in the garter stitches is simply elegant design. I hope to finish it sometime this week as soon as I make up my mind about the underarm seam.